Dialogue & Art

   
Discovering yourself through art.......

   Recently while painting some "abstract explorations" I heard an enormous amount of internal dialogue going on that I hadn't heard before.........some of this will sound a bit.....crazy, and I don't take it to seriously myself.

    This isn't some poltergeist sort of thing occurring and my mind wasn't taken over by aliens nor was I using mind altering substances.....though, that might be of help in my explorations into the abstract realms of painting. When in the creative sphere whether writing, doing visual art or designing homes I always have a sort of positive inner guide, the quite voice that helps me to make decisions, what colors and content is best, etc., but the very small voice in the back of this voice is what I heard while doing the abstracts. It is not the voice of the muse, nor the reflections of academia or anything that I can recall being fed into my brain, though of course somewhere along the path of life I may have encountered it and completely forgotten the makings of it.

    Most of the time  I do figurative or semi-figurative work, take a lot of time to do them, exercise a
great amount of detail and am unable to leave white space. The abstract explorations are quite unlike the previously mentioned, taking little time, very loose, little detail and a lot of white space. I'm forcing myself to go outside my comfort zone, to broaden my artistic horizons mostly because I've been experiencing an "artist block" for some time now and desperately wanted a breakthrough of some sort.

   For some reason, while doing these abstract explorations the little voice in back of the little voice is telling me, "what I'm doing is wrong, inconsequential, I should take more time to complete them, there is no detail and this makes the work worthless, why am I leaving so much white space and why am I not doing more conceptual work that would mean something, and on it goes". Good grief!!!! I'm curious to know if other artist have experienced these sorts of inner commentary.

   What's funny about all of this to me is the contrast of having an enormous amount of fun and freedom while hearing a very derogatory and critical inner voice....the voice behind the inner voice. My general day to day inner dialogue is quite positive and I enjoy life a great deal, yet here is this mini voice ranting and raving negative about something I'm having fun doing. Maybe some art psychoanalyst could explain all this to me and tell me what I already know such as, I'm simply crazy and maybe I should do some art therapy. Anyway, I would love to hear from other artist artist on this topic.

When There is Space

Have you ever experienced a lull in your work when you simply cannot produce art?

For the last few months I’ve been experiencing what one of my friends call, “ a gestation period” which translates into, I am creating a new baby and I'll just have to wait and see what comes out. “I seem to have lost my muse”, or, “I am experiencing a dry spell” is the most common terminology for this situation of non production. I sometimes think that when this happens to me I have lost my muse, my creative “mojo”, and won’t ever be able to create another work of art. Such mental constructs are for the most part just that, the ego trying to get the best of the creative experience by not allowing the creative energy to flow that is always present and exist in almost any situation.

                                                                                                                                               
Another way to look at this is, the times when I’m not painting or drawing may possibly be some of the most creative periods because this leads me to the next series of physical manifestations that usually surpass anything I’ve created before. I am generally quite driven to always be producing work, whether painting, drawing, writing, or playing music, and I start getting worried when I seem distracted, unable to focus and create. The sense of anxiousness is probably the biggest stumbling block for the creative process. I don’t really know why there are lulls in creativity, but I do know that I generally feel quite uncomfortable during these times, especially because I hear that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I must pick up my brushes now, this minute, or something such as, I’ll be excommunicated from the realm of creativity……….I know…..that’s nuts.

All this seems a bit crazy & neurotic to me, especially as I write this on paper, the notion that I must create or else I am not worthy, or doing what I’m supposed to be doing, or I won’t be able to do it anymore if I wait to long, or my creative juices are all dried up, or the million other insane notions that occupy this grey matter. The truth is that no matter how long or short the time span is between the creative work you make, there is no set formulas, nothing lost, and it may just be the best thing that happened to you, leading to possibly some of your best work. Often I will try to force myself to create, and I find this usually leads to disaster, though it can possibly be a start to engaging the creative process again. I don’t really have any immediate solutions for this period of time I’m experiencing, and we all have a different sort of experience when in the “Lull”. So getting out of it is for me, letting go of all my preconceptions about what should be, and allowing what is to place, and simply waiting.......easy to  say, another to actually do it.

Of course if you are on a deadline to create, having a dry spell is quite another issue from when you have plenty of time to work this out. What to do to get the motors of the muse moving? Relax! This is pretty hard to do under the duress of a deadline, but to relax, go do something completely different in a new environment, or meditate, or just pass by your paints and say hello to them and let it go. Yep, it all sounds easy until you are experiencing the valley of dry desert non-creative winds. But believe me, this to shall pass (kind of cliché here) and you will once again feel the sweet waters of your sub conscious muse as the flood gates of creativity flow once again.

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